can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
