You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
