i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
