he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
