whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
