I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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