She's JV to your varsity
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
