I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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