who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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