ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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