It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
