they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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