I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Randomize
