she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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