Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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