A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
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