come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
