Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
