Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
