and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
