Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm always down for nudity.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize