Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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