Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
