I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
