Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
