What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
