It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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