Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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