i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
