if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
