there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
