did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
