I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
