I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
