Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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