The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i think my mom watched the whole time
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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