Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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