Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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