cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
