I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
