Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
