hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I smell like Dick and happiness
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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