lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
