I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
3 2 1 whiskey
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
