First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
