I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
