dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize