A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
