butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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