i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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