he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We got so high we made milksteak
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
