is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
