O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
