Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
