i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
that may or may not have been my penis.
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