we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
