A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
