i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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