ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Randomize
