we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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